August 23, 2012 erotica, general update, lady writers, romance 6

Erotica usually tickles my funny bone. I spend more time LOL-ing during erotic scenes than anything else. I’m just not that into sexy times in books. Am I frigid? Maybe. I don’t know. I do know that I am for freedom of expression. In everything. If you and your lover like to get kinky…don’t tell me about it. Really, don’t. Not unless you want to suffer through a bout of Lori giggles. This might be what sent me to YA. There is not a ton of sexy times. It’s mostly butterflies. You get the lead up without the dirty deets. I’m ok with that.

I do like some erotica. I have an obsession with monsterporn. It’s fucking nasty and hilarious. What can I say it’s grown on me. I also adore Delilah Fawkes and Brandie Buckwine. They are classy smut slingers.

So what brought on this post. Well I read something on facebook by a person who can’t “like” erotic authors/books because she works and writes books about sexual abuse. Before I sound like a hateful bigot let me acknowledge that erotica is probably a personal trigger for her. I get that.

However, I have seen many others that seem to link erotica with abusive relationships.

I just feel like I need to clear something up for those of us who like, and the authors who write erotica.

EROTICA does not equal ABUSE. In any form of the art. BDSM is not ABUSE. If it is consensual then it just can’t be. I’m sorry I know not everyone agrees with this but it’s true. If you were to poll most submissive male and female’s in BDSM relationships they would not claim to be abused. Because they aren’t. This lifestyle is not Fifty Shades of Grey. I’m sorry Fifty fans but you are being lied to. I don’t think Ana can be called a true submissive until the 3rd book. She fights it too much in book 1 and 2. Before I lose myself in another Fifty Shades tirade I am going to bring myself in.

Sorry for the rant but I thought I would add my support to those writers who portray different sexual lifestyles in a honest, and fun way.

Have a wonderful night. 😀

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I'm a mother, and I love reading. What else is there to know?

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  • This comment has been removed by the author.

    • Even though you removed your comment. I”ll just respond no problem and thank you!!!

  • I think the main problem has become the blurring between BDSM and abusive relationships in erotica. There are people claiming to be writing BDSM, but it reads as a very disturbing and abusive relationship (50 Shades of Gray). Also, books like Beautiful Disaster, where the guy fits the classic profile of an abuser, are portrayed as romance and it causes a lot of confusion.

    There are definitely triggers in some of these books for people who have been abused. The blurring is disturbing.

    That is why I think reviews are so important. It allows people to educate themselves about a book before picking it up and possibly having a bad anxiety attack due to triggers. Just reading about the two books mentioned above in GLOWING reviews alerted me to the fact that I wouldn’t be able to read them without an adverse reaction.

    My two cents…

    • I agree. I’m not sure that the trend will even stop. People seem to be into the abusive male lead. It’s very sad to me. I applaud erotic and all authors that are steering clear of this blurring line. There are many authors out there that are showing BDSM relationships in an authentic way. But like all things you have to wade through the others to get to them.

  • Ren

    Tell us how you really feel LOL