Review: Blood Soaked and Contagious by James Crawford

November 24, 2013 Lindsay's reviews 3

I received this book for free from publisher in exchange for an honest review. This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review.

This book may be unsuitable for people under 17 years of age due to its use of sexual content, drug and alcohol use, and/or violence.
Review: Blood Soaked and Contagious by James CrawfordBlood Soaked and Contagious by James Crawford
Series: Blood Soaked #1
Published by Permuted Press on September 15th 2011
Source: publisher
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I am not going to complain to you about my life.

We’ve got zombies. They are not the brainless, rotting creatures we’d been led to expect. Unfortunately for us, they’re just as smart as they were before they died, very fast, much stronger than you or me, and possess no internal editor at all.

Claws. Did I mention claws?

I kill them for a living, but it’s as much a vocation as a freelance career choice. It helps me, helps my neighborhood, and the people I consider to be my family of choice. What’s more? I’m really good at it.

My life had a nice rhythm, but the military bungled an attempt to wipe out an organized bunch of undead near a major commuting route into DC. The formerly-human survivors relocated. Now they’re less than an hour’s stroll away from where I live.

The new Zombie Overlord is smarter, crazier, and better equipped than anyone we've dealt with before. He will wipe us out, every man, woman, and child... I've seen it done for lesser reasons... because we have something he wants, and he does not take "No" for an answer.

This book was SO much fun! (As long as your idea of fun involves blood and gore, carnage, nudity, violence, foul language and laughing. So. Much. Laughing.) Although technically it’s a zombie novel, these aren’t your typical mindless feeding machines, hellbent on devouring every living being with a pulse. Don’t get me wrong! There is plenty of devouring, but they are very selective about their meal choices. They are just as smart as they were when they were alive, only now they are using their intelligence for more deadly purposes. There is a certain sci-fi aspect to the story as well as the horror, and even a little romance. It’s a killer combo!

The book is told in a narrated format, with the main character, Frank, talking directly to the reader. Frank’s internal voice is cynical and sarcastic, and chock full of personality. In fact, ALL of the characters are so diverse and unique and they practically pop off the page! The dialogue was easily my favorite part of this book, with a back-and-forth banter that is stuck somewhere between clever and silly. I found myself highlighting constantly, so many quotable quotes! I would share them all with you guys, but some of them are NOT appropriate for our underage readers. 😉

Did I mention that this book is for mature readers? Besides all of the required blood and gore, there are mature themes, language and sexuality. This book is not for the faint of heart, or the easily offended. Frank is constantly giving euphemisms for his privates, such as “Don Quixote, Sancho and Sancho”, or the “Three-Course Gourmet Feast”. The sexual innuendos are GOLD!

“You are one sick puppy. Now you want me to fish around in your drawers for your gun. Should I be worried it’s loaded?”

“My weapon is always loaded. Sometimes I pop the clip out just to look at my fresh rounds.”

Now for the downside, because every book has to have one. It was a little long, with some tedious descriptions of tactical maneuvers which were unnecessary. It didn’t feel crisp and clean, but that was part of its appeal as well. With a little more editing, it could be tightened up and would easily be a five star read.

There are not many occasions in a fellow’s life when he gets to really dig into the primal meat of fighting for his life while not wearing a stitch of clothing and armed only with a knife and toilet bowl cleaner.

lindsay
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Lindsay

One woman stuck in a house full of boys, I immerse myself in books and save my sanity by reading, writing and blogging. I'll read just about anything, from any genre, and LOVE supporting Indie authors. <3
  • This sounds like a lot of fun! Perhaps a little guy-centric for me, but your review makes me want to give it a shot,. Thanks! 🙂

    • Lindsay

      And now the issue is fixed? See my comment below. 😛

  • Lindsay Galloway

    So apparently WordPress won’t let me reply to your comment, but thank you!
    While there is plenty in this book to keep men entertained, it wasn’t as guy-centric as you might imagine. James Crawford, as a man, did a pretty good job at writing women. There wasn’t an overabundance of sex scenes, and the women were all intelligent and strong. There’s a lot of respect for women written into this book!